She Who Found Peace.

Hello cruel world.

As I sit here, I am watching the clock, hearing its tick and tock in between the sounds of every piece of computer equipment imaginable. I daydream about my wine, my vacation in March, and how I will look when I am 20 pounds lighter. I impatiently wait to go home by watching YouTube videos and drool over delicious hippie clothing...

...then a co-worker comes rushing in balling her eyes out. I confide in her and give her tissues to wipe her eyes. When she calms down she apologizes because she just had a panic attack.

That is when I just realized I have not had a panic attack in almost a year???

MIRACLE!

I have learned to control my stress. Actually, I have noticed more positive stress tweaking and popping up and around my aura, driving its courage through my mouth and into brain. It could be all my recent education in many things; relationships, motherhood, employment, college or whatever...I am just getting happier.

Though I have bouts with depression, I still am a perky and happy female most of the time. Though I don't communicate my feelings with my significant other like I should we still seem to have a decent relationship (well, most of the time anyway!). I noticed I am a good listener too among many other friends because they know I won't spread their feelings like a brush fire.

I am preaching. To myself and to others important around me, as not to think so negative all the time. And I will keep my mouth shut on other things and accept those behaviors and what-nots because my friends are who they are for a reason. I have so many friends who have low self-esteem and though they deny they do it and it shows in so many ways. They black it out thinking it is nothing. I wish they wouldn't.

And I apologize for writing so random.

And I am in the mood to write a poem.

Kaya.