Stereotypical Behavior

The thousands of cultures in our world create a unique human society. If aliens from other planets actually exist, they would be astonished by how different we were all raised, by the variations of skin tone and the languages that vary border to border. If they were to look down on our planet and go from country to country to learn something new, the aliens would never become bored. So, in our human society why does dating someone from a different race seem so stereotypical? If you were an alien and never met a human before, and you were only to be confronted by both an Asian, African and Irish man, what do you think their way of defining us would be? Personally, the culture and colors of our skin would be the least of their interests.
Now, if we were to land on a planet full of aliens that are all the same, would we become bored? We as humans are unique individually, and our qualities and cultures create who we became. I was raised to avoid racism and accept people for who they are, but I never understood why I was scared to date someone of another culture. At first it would be exciting…that is until the panic of what people say when they see us together seeps in.
My first boyfriend in high school, named Arun, was from India. We were freshmen and we had a history class together at Salem High School. He was raised a vegetarian, had beautiful dark skin and played guitar so well it put him where he is today. Beyond my cluelessness of vegans and playing music he liked me anyway. Arun enjoyed spending time with me as we got deep into high school conversations and bonded emotionally. However, our romantic relationship didn’t last very long because I was uncomfortable facing the fact that we are from different cultures. Even with this idea of only dating Caucasians existed in my head, Arun proceeded make another attempt at dating me my junior year. I wondered why he would think we would make a good relationship. How could he think it is even possible?
My theory is that Arun’s mind is more open than mine. I had colored friends who were from various cultures and I enjoyed learning fun facts about them, but never dated any of them. Scared for the fact that I may have to give up something to introduce part of me to another culture, I decided to keep myself closed from teaching myself something outside of the classrooms. I didn’t feel that dating someone of a different race was appropriate, only because of the way I was raised in my society. The source of this idea came from my childhood, and the area I lived in.
At the time when I lived in Utah, the state was dominant in Caucasians, followed by Mexicans. I wasn’t used to seeing an African American walking down the street, a gay couple holding hands or especially a bi-racial couple at the movies together. I was raised in prominent white neighborhoods and played with mostly Caucasian children, so when we moved back to Michigan I had the culture shock of a lifetime.
Going to a high school with more than 1400 other teenagers was more like an ethnic overload. In those four years I learned more about cultures than I did in any classroom, any textbook or from any teacher. In fact, the first friend I befriended my freshman year was Adam, and African American who lived down the street from me. It was hard to grasp at first, and I literally gasped for air when I entered my first classroom. It was diversity central.
As someone who doesn’t care for racists, I was dumb and close-minded. I looked around that high school lunch room my first day, trying to mentally clash with each teenager and engage with their habits. Many mixed couples and another lesbian couple holding hands only made it even harder for me to date a teenage boy a different race. I didn’t look at him differently as a friend, but I couldn’t accept the fact that even Arun, a gentle boy with a big heart, couldn’t win me over because he was from India. As I got older, I began to recognize that my closed mind wasn’t getting me where I wanted to be. I actually began to pity myself. I looked at my dominant nationalities and what differences I have from friends and family surrounding me. Primarily Finnish and Native American, I am not only a unique mix but I have instincts from both cultures. Finnish people are shy; don’t care much for touching and like bright colors. Native Americans respect their elders and we give them the highest authority while we enjoy surrounding us with the scents of the earth. With these two unique races I have realized that someone could stereotype me because I am Native American of Finnish, due to the way they were raised. What if a Mexican didn’t like me because I like burning incense? What if he expressed himself by touching where I didn’t like it? It is like the roles have been reversed.
Arun is still a friend. He is in a punk band called” Saves the Day” and is happy with the life he has, as am I these days. I can’t say I don’t regret my actions because I really do. What if I gave Arun a chance to express himself and his culture? Things would be a lot different than they are today. I thank him for giving me the credit to at least give it a second chance, or at least make that second attempt in getting to know me more.

Below is a picture of Arun, peforming with "Saves The Day."